For sado-masochistic
tendencies, please press
one. For problems with
your mother, please press
two. If you have suicidal
thoughts or imaginary
friends, please press three.
If all of the above, please
hang up now and find
a guru.

If you cannot find a guru,
write a book. If you are
mentally unable to do
this task which is on
your bucket list, make
a sandwich. If you cannot
afford a sandwich,

find a man who will
do all of these things
for you. Or a woman.
If you're disatisfied with
your personal life
and want to meet new
people, feel free to start
a religion.

Call it Vicodinism,
after your most beloved
hobby. If you're there,
please press five. I
know I am.

Not at all what I feel this Christmas but still a poem

Your esophagus burns
this Christmas eve,
wondering where it all
went so sour.

Loneliness is a
paycheck,
cashed.

Kandinsky's Pyramid

The arts are encroaching one upon another, and from a
proper use of this encroachment will rise the art that is truly
monumental. Every (whoa)man who steeps himself in the spiritual
possibilities of his art is a valuable helper in the building of
the spiritual pyramid which will some day reach to heaven.

What I shoulda wrote in the City

I’m drowning like Staten Island

Ferry during Hurricane Sandy, self-

Deprecation not as bad as emotional

Wreckage, Woody Allen knows that

New York has some baggage.

But you got some baggage too,

Look at your eyes. You’re running from

It, she cares so much ‘cos she thinks

That actions make people. I think

She’s wrong. People make people,

Action only makes reaction, meanwhile

Thought poisoned by this charade,

“yes, mom, I’m fine.”

No, you’re not. Lying only prolongs

Everything, and what makes a person

Isn’t action or other people but the

Thoughts inside your head, the feelings

In your heart. I hope you and her

Will work things out, for everyone’s sake.

Cheers

scramble nixon bison lichen
shamble tasers misers fighters
ramble blue balled weights in gold
inertia sold to those who uphold
the absolute power of boredom.

its claws work magic via television,
vicariously bicuriously swimming
in the sea of DirecTV, swimming
in the sea of ghetto-fabulous,
swimming in the sea of mindless
mindfulness, swimming in the
seas of your eyes.

Shop Macy's 48 hour sale. Introducing
dog toothpaste. New season starring
Stephen Seagal. And now, back
to Cheers!

A Hindu once told me about two
birds in a tree branch. One bird is
reaching for fruit, the fruit of the world;
the other only watching.

Now the question arises-- do we
do, or do we watch? Which is
right? You tell me.

Dinner served cold

Firsts

Jelly on the table,
hands on the floor,
eating your feet,
and you want more!

Your face a
burnt apricot,
my lips saying
"this is what I got."


Seconds

Farewell to dreams,
I bid you farewell,
a poem a day
comes out of its shell.


Thirds

Whistle a tune,
be happy, don't worry,
For you know that
God makes a mean curry.

"The snow falls,
each in its appropriate
place."